The Dead 1st Ladies Club Reviews the Inauguration

PatNixonDeceasedGuest post by Thelma Catherine “Pat” Ryan Nixon, First Lady to Richard M. Nixon, 37th President of the United States of America.

First off, we members of the Dead First Ladies Club wish to thank Richard M Nixon (R-Deceased) for the opportunity to use the platform of the Dead Citizen’s Rights Society blog to critique the inauguration and the current first lady.

Attending yesterday’s high tea were:

  • Martha Washington
  • Abigail Adams
  • Dolley Todd Madison
  • Sarah Yorke Jackson
  • Letitia Christian Tyler
  • Eliza Johnson
  • Lucy Ware Hayes
  • Frances Clara Cleveland
  • Edith Kermit Roosevelt
  • Florence Mabel deWolfe Harding
  • Anna Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Elizabeth “Bess” Virginia Truman
  • Mamie Geneva Eisenhower
  • Claudia “Lady Bird” Alta Johnson
  • Elizabeth “Betty” Ann Warren Ford (our newest member)
  • Your humble reporter

You will notice that some of the First Ladies did not attend. Some had other plans (Grace Coolidge for example) or are on the outs with the rest of us (Jackie O for example).

We were universally shocked at the clothing choices for herself and the children made by Michelle Obama. Did she not have a proper upbringing? Does she not have someone schooling her in proper dress and behavior on that huge staff of hers?

Mamie had only one remark during the entire dragged out affair: “She needs to learn custody of the eyes.”  The general consensus was that Michelle Obama denigrates the position of First Lady and brings disgrace upon it. The most repeated phrase was “That uppity <redacted> needs a whipping.” (Remember, we are dead and were among our peers, thus our language is salty).

Decorum, personal dignity and manners are “missing in action” with this woman. We thought Jackie’s behavior was bad, this one takes the cake! From her total lack of respect for anyone to her horrible fashion sense, Michelle Obama is a disgrace to the position of First Lady and to America.

UPDATE:

Such a disgrace to all the fine First Ladies that preceded her Royal Swineness.

H/T to Blur-Brain

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Posted in Opinion from beyond the grave, Sarcasm, Satire
2 comments on “The Dead 1st Ladies Club Reviews the Inauguration
  1. [...] But don’t take my word for it, see what Pat Nixon, deceased former FLOTUS has to say about it at her husband’s website: [...]

  2. I remember her comments on September 11 in New York City. “All this for a flag ?”

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